Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Not worth it

Here's a list of things that aren't worth it:

  • being sad over people that don't care about you
  • being sad over things you can't change
  • judging others for things they can't change
  • hurting yourself
  • not buying that perfect [item] that looks perfect on you AND (most importantly) is affordable
  • buying something that you KNOW is ridiculously overpriced, but you "need it"
  • for all my ladies, boys who choose to play EA sports games than hang out with you 
  • starting fights, especially if you know you can't finish them
  • not telling people how you really feel
  • paying $19.99 + shipping and handling for a Kidz bop CD
  • waiting for someone who fucked you over to change
  • worrying about why someone hasn't texted you back in 3 minutes, chill yo
  • changing yourself/ your morals just to be liked
  • not trying to conqure your fears
  • people that give you mixed signals
  • long lines at Starbucks
  • picking sides 
  • not asking for another round of bread at the fancy restaurant
  • gym memberships
  • worrying about what other people think about you (because baby, you're lovely)
  • obsessing over the lifestyles of others
  • wanting to be a Six Chick
  • listening to other people's nasty remarks about you or someone you know/ care about
  • keeping up with a friend who clearly doesn't ever make the effort in return
  • communicating with your ex past 10 p.m.
  • water bottles, especially if they cost over $1
  • assuming ANYTHING
  • Proactive
  • answering to a bootycall (just trust me on this one)
  • sending nudes 
  • being ashamed for the things you're into
  • being ashamed for being into "mainstream" things, especially if it's singing along to One Direction songs
  • ordering grilled instead of crispy at McDonalds
  • not taking care of yourself/ your health
  • taking education for granted
  • taking people for granted
  • getting in the middle of fights
  • not trying to do anything to help someone in need
  • prying into people's lives
  • watching the new Disney channel shows
  • taking Sharknado seriously
  • taking anything TOO seriously
  • thinking that you don't deserve to be happy because news flash, you do
if you think I missed anything, comment below! 

Back to school supply wishlist ♡

Friday, July 19, 2013

Academic anxiety or am I just a whiny hoe?

It's recently dawned on me that I go back to school in less than a month and I still have to start my summer homework. It's not a lot or anything to crazy, but the fact that I haven't started it yet as compared to some of my other friends makes me feel like a failure. I honestly feel like I've failed all my classes and the school year hasn't even started yet. It's ridiculous I know, but I'm scared for this coming school year. I've heard so many horror stories about the classes I signed up for, all the hours I'll spend working for a measly grade that will mean nothing to me 10 years from now. I still have to get my books and school supplies. I have to start getting used to waking up earlier and not sleeping in so much. I have to get back into the groove of things. Why? Because I have a bad habit of procrastinating that I plan on conquering this school year. Holla at yo gurl. And now that I think about it, there is so much anticipation for this school year. I'm going to be a junior which means I'm going to be considered upper class in the high school hierarchy. And on top of that, I'm going to be the junior class president. And on top of that I'm thinking about doing water polo again this year. And also the musical and maybe even comedy sports (?????) Okay and I'm not saying anything between C and I are going to get serious (tbh there is definitely potential for something to happen between us, but that's for a different post...), but if things do get serious that will play a giant role in the course of this school year. SKdjngaierngajkfrnkanfrsaDGNARKJGNa You know what, I actually feel a lot better letting all of this out right now. I know I just have to be on my A (Or should I say L) Game this year. I can do it. This is going to be an interesting year to say the least...

And here's my little uneducated spiel with the school system here in America:
I just think it's fucking ridiculous that we as students have to memorize tons of information to pass a class that will probably be of no use for the job we're going to have when we're older.
But what do I know.

Pretty sure I'm just a whiny hoe

Going to sit in a café and pretend I don't feel so lonely

Sunday, July 14, 2013

10 years

Earlier today I was talking to my dad about college and careers and stuff like that and he told me to imagine what I want my future to look like. It got me wondering. Do you ever wonder where you'll be in 10 years time? Like really wonder about it? Where you'll be living? What kind of things you'll do in your free time? What kind of job will you have? Stuff like that. I like to think I'll live in a nifty little apartment somewhere in San Francisco. I'll spend a lot of time on my terrace that will hopefully have a really nice view. I'll probably have a roommate who I hope isn't allergic to animal fur. I'll have a dog (or two). I'll get my groceries at farmers markets. Maybe I'll be vegan. I'll have a little part time job at the local library. I'll have my own little spot in a local cafe where I can hangout and read books and drink my tea and iced coffees. I'll write and draw and knit. I'll ride my bike a lot. I'll have memberships at all the museums in the area. I'll go to art shows. I'll go to shows for bands that have still yet to be discovered. I'll get a lot of my clothes at thrift stores and bazaars. I'll go on walks a lot. I'll be done with school. I'll either be a psychiatrist or an architect (of sorts). I'll either have really long hair that I probably won't style unless for occasions or a really short edgy haircut. I'll keep in touch with all my high school and college friends. I'll go to church every Sunday and probably try to attend daily mass as much as I can. I'll participate in protests just for the heck of it (the ones that I believe are the most humane and righteous of decision of course). I'll visit my parents often. I'll host parties. I'll be in love with someone. I'll go on dates with them and we'd watch movies together and share all our favorite things with each other. I'll travel often. I'll find a place where I can just let go and be at peace with life and the universe and the earth all together.
These are just the kinds of things I imagine. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Mazzy Star plays in the background

Sorry for being absent for such a long time, I've been "busy".
Busy doing what you may ask
Busy living my fucking life... Just kidding. A couple weeks ago I got a job at my dad's office doing clerical work. I hate it so much, but the pay is good and I don't have to work everyday so it's not that bad. Oh and I was on a spiritual retreat all last week. Rekindling my relationship with God, ya know? It was actually a really nice get away from the world and I feel a lot more at peace with who I am and what I believe in. I can honestly say I am happy with my life despite the occasional days when I want to rip someone's face off.
I also took my permit test on Monday. I missed 11. In other words, I failed. You can best believe I got an earful from my failure intolerant mother. Here's the thing though, I actually don't really care about driving so much.
Remember when I was all like "I want a boyfriend blah blah summer fling blah blah blah" and like "I wish I had someone to share my happiness with blah blah blah"? Ha ya me too. (Oh my glob, in hindsight I sound really fucking pathetic???). Anyways, I can proudly say that I am in like with someone and for the sake of my sake we're just going to call him C? This is probably extremely obvious to those who know me. We've been talking for a couple weeks now and we get along really well. Like I feel really comfortable being myself with him and it just comes so effortlessly? I mean that so fucking sappy and I'm sorry, but I don't really know how else to put it. I'm getting butterflies just thinking about itI'll have to write more about it another time though. 

Oh and since today is Wednesday, here's my little Woman Crush Wednesday: 
Tavi Gevinson

where to find this lovely lady: